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Theories by Darrylb.


(Note: unless I missed one, I haven't seen a light-hearted theory yet in regards to the Submachine games, so here's one to not take seriously! [Or maybe you should.])

Submachinian Theory (humorous)Edit

Submachinian Theory
Theory history
Submitted 2010-07-04
Humorous 2011-01-30

In ancient times, there was a race of people known as the Submachinians. They were a proud, intelligent group of people with a rich culture of architecture and a high living standard. Part of their pride was due to creating elaborate dwellings with puzzles that could boggle the mind, yet be solved by using only a few simple objects (such as spoons, coins, and valve wheels, for instance).

Unfortunately when those of the lower classes from neighboring towns found out about their society, they wanted to see what their elaborate puzzle structures were all about. Worse yet, many of the lower class folk (later dubbed as "n00bs" by the Submachinians behind their backs) could only figure out a few steps to a puzzle, get stuck, and demand answers via what was known as "walkthroughs". Although some of the more privileged (i. e. not "puzzle challenged") commoners could (somehow) entirely solve one of their puzzles, many more cursed the Submachinians, condemning them for altering their appearances when they became so infuriated by the puzzles that they went bald by pulling their hair out in frustration, whereas others would totally descend into madness (and being denied the highest game-solving prize of wisdom gems by the Submachinians' infuriated the commoners even more, since using the walkthroughs didn't count).

The Submachinians fled, vowing to not reveal the true natures of their puzzles -- they supposedly had a higher meaning that most commoners wouldn't understand anyway -- yet to never be forgotten either. It would seem like they were gone for good for a while until the ancient pyramids were discovered in Egypt many years later. Although there was no physical evidence left of the Submachinians (their puzzle houses had been long before destroyed by the enraged commoners), their curses created havoc by many of the people that excavated the Egyptian tombs.

Seemingly docile for many decades, more and more hints of the Submachinians' return have surfaced much more recently. It is a little known fact that the traps that Indiana Jones (played by Harrison Ford) set off in the Raiders of the Lost Ark [and other Indiana Jones] movie[s] were based on designs by the ancient Submachinians (just LOOK at what appears to be an uncanny resemblance of the Sphinx statue near the very end of the Submachine 0: The Ancient Adventure game...). Their traps still working centuries later is definitely a Submachinian trademark.

And even more recently, one day in 2003, an architect/artist by the name of Mateusz Skutnik was shopping at a secondhand store and decided to, upon total impulse, buy a used vinyl record by a music group known as The Root. Unfortunately The Root was a concept band that had studied the Submachinians, and on this particular album (The Lighthouse), they had secretly placed a recording of an ancient Submachinian spirit who's voice was captured during a dig at one of the Great Pyramids.

Even more unfortunate, Skutnik accidentally played the album backwards, not realizing until too late of his error, due to falling asleep when he began playing the record after a hard day at work. He was awakened by the vengeful Submachinian spirit, who demanded that his race be remembered and for their curse to live on, but with a much wider audience this time, which could be brought to them via the "internet". Being a starving artist at the time, Skutnik agreed, especially with the condition granted by the spirit that he would be given some fame and fortune with his games, as the Submachinians are usually known to bestow. (Also, the Submachinian spirit was pleased that Skutnik was sober after contact was made, as all other communication attempts failed when a few others played The Root album backwards, since most of those people were either not good with puzzles [along with the fact that Skutnik was an architect as well impressed the Submachinian spirit] and/or were stoned when they did this, thinking that hearing a voice from playing the album backwards was a result of them "trippin'", and didn't take the event seriously.) After all, this all worked for Steven Spielburg with his Indiana Jones movies, did it not?

(Note: yes, Spielburg struck a deal with the Submachinians too, NOT Satan for his success, as commonly believed. Ex-Microsoft founder Bill Gates was the one who made a deal with Satan so Microsoft could become a corporate giant. Gates was not good enough at puzzle games in order to cut a deal with the Submachinians [hence why his Windows programs crash so much due to faulty architecture], so Satan granted him the Microsoft deal instead. But that's another story altogether...)

As various entertainment ventures were made popular due to the Submachinians -- after all, they were quite knowledgeable in regards to entertainment (albeit in a cruel, brain-busting manner) -- this continues to this day. After all, there are hints of their wide influence, such as the record player (which also appears in Sub 4) and the video game in Sub 2, the mention of the Einstein cat in Sub 2 as well (with the nod of the Sphinx in Sub 0, what modern day cats descended from, hence Einstein [and the REAL Einstein was also a Submachinian disciple]), music in the Future Loop Foundation, etc.

And those are just the Submachine games! The feeling of isolation also carried over into the first Covert Front and DayMare Town games as well, where nary a person is seen at all (note: the isolation feeling wasn't really conveyed in Covert Front 2 though [and especially not 3], due to steaming cups of just abandoned coffee in the underground lair, along with the contacts made during and end of the game as well). This represents the feeling of isolation of the Submachinians when they were banished, yet still sought attention, which is also evidenced by their curse of millions of lonely people in the internet that still crave attention as well (commonly known as "attention whores" on "forums").

Other nods are seen in other popular entertainment circles as well which fit in with Submachine themes, such as all the theories as to what the Submachine games are supposed to be about, yet no one knows (in general) what the hell is going on in them, like with The Matrix movies, where nothing in them are real (or ARE they? And also note of a mention of a "spoon" in the first two movies as well...a common object that played an important part, which was required to beat the first Sub game, is mentioned during the intro to Sub 3 AND a fork proves to be useful during Sub 2 as well). Yes, more Submachine influence/deal-making there too; hence why the creators of the Matrix movies, the Wachowski brothers, stay out of the public eye. Another example can be seen in any episode of any of the Star Trek series where an advanced race studies humans, yet the members of the Federation almost always end up escaping them at the end, signifying a rare reference of the commoners winning a Submachine game (although the later Star Trek series of Enterprise, Voyager and The Next Generation depictions of the Borg villains are obviously in regards to the Submachinians' enslavement power over the commoners).

So what will the end result be? Will all this end with Submachine 10? It is doubtful; just look at all the clones and rehashes Hollywood does in the entertainment industry, and the same goes for gaming too; hardly anything is new any more. After all, descendants of the ancient Submachinians control the numbers/spy stations that are heard all over the world (and referenced in the current [at the time of this writing, in mid 2010] Submachine Network Exploration Experience offering), which yet again fit their profile perfectly: being anonymous and mysterious, yet seeking acceptance, and broadcasting puzzles that few know, much less can solve (makes sense now, doesn't it? Duh!).

It is unknown as to what the ancient -- and descendants of -- the Submachinian spirit's demands will be, but it is believed that, in the cryptic end of Sub 3 saying "you don't want to escape", that sums it all up pretty well indeed.

See alsoEdit

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